Back To School For The Jamaican Parent

So... I know this is a little late as we are less than three weeks away from the start of the new school year, but better late than never. Plus there is always next year if you find any of the following tips useful. Please note, this is for all parents, no matter your social status or household type; I think everyone generally likes to save money or could do with a bit more efficiency.

First off - what qualifies me you might ask? I am a mom of a six year old and a twelve year old, so I have had about nine years of back to school prep and six years doubling up so I have narrowed it down to a science.

TIP #1: Make a check list in order of what to handle first.
Everything on the list is important, but it is wise to take note of when the sales usually happen, whether you like to avoid the rush or don't mind it, etc. School usually goes out in June so you have two and half months to get it together, so spread out the back to school shopping if you cant get everything at once. Also, getting the stuff in parts also helps you to stay within your usually end of month dance without feeling like you are spending a lump sum on back to school. Get an early start and pace yourself.

TIP #2: Know your shopping personality.
Like me, there are some people who cant handle crowds so if you know you're going to get flustered with a lot of people, long lines and book stores running out of books - again. GET AN EARLY START.

TIP #3: Know your vendors.
After six months of going to Coronation Market, I knew who my vendors were, who had the best produce and the best prices. Not only did I get value for my money but I was able to do market in less than 30mins. In and out. Its a time saver, you know their usual prices and you know what you getting for your money. This same thing applies to back to school shopping.

TIP #4: Uniforms
- Get the uniform thing in motion early, especially if they're being done by a dress-maker. You know by late July she/he is going to be swamped and trust me you don't wan't to be collecting uniforms the weekend before school starts. My mom is a dress-maker so I know. It gets crazy. Even if you are getting them from the school or an outlet ready made - put your order in, get that process going.
- Another thing with uniforms is - you don't have to buy a new set of uniforms every year. If your child has a complete set of uniforms for the whole week and keeps them in good condition, you can just buy one or two new uniforms for the new term (this doesn't apply to students attending a new school), to add to the previous set. Another thing to do is buy a portion before school starts and take your time to get he additional ones to round out the week. Again.. there are many combinations to what you can do to pace yourself and/or save money, just choose the one that suits you.

TIP #5: Books
- We all know book prices can be very exorbitant so this tip can be applied at any level of education. Know your neighbor; in your community, at school (PTA), at church, etc. Why? You can give text books previously used by your child to someone who needs them and also get text books from others who has previously owned them. Even if you decide to sell/buy them from each other it can be at a subsidized price (way lower than the book store). This especially can be done within families, with cousins and other extended family members to help each other out. If you have children that are a couple years apart, you can save them until the youngest comes up so he/she can use them. And don't stress over the fact that the book may have a few dog ears, they are only using it for one year, help the child/children to understand that its not the book but the information inside of it. Who knows, the money you save from getting a book from a previous owner could buy the hip school bag/school shoes that he/she wants. Help them to understand the economics.
- When you shop at the book stores and you get to sign up a leaflet to enter a competition to win money. Do it. You never know - you may just be the lucky winner with JMD50,000 - JMD100, 000 in cash price. It takes three minutes and you have nothing to loose. I don't know about you, but even when I have lots of money, I'm always open for more.

TIP #6: School Fee
Again... you have two and a half months. Pace yourself. If you find that you have challenges paying all the money at once, start putting down certain amounts here and there. Also many financial institutions, for eg. credit unions, give scholarships for all levels of education, even the school itself may offer. So get in the know, do some research and see how you can access scholarships. Also encourage your child to do well in school because this, as you know, is a major factor in accessing scholarships. 

TIP #7: School Bags, Lunch kits, water bootles/igloos
It is better to buy good, durable items that can serve your child for a couple or several years than to buy a whole set of new things every summer. Unless you want to - that's fine. No matter the brand - if you decide to spend a decent amount of money to buy a strong school bag, lunch kit, etc.. these items will last longer than inexpensive stuff (or poor quality that is pricey) that you will have to replace every year.

TIP #8: Miscellaneous (Socks, stationery, lunch bags, etc)
These things are usually inexpensive so no major tip here. Just pick up a few of the small stuff here and there, "one one coco full basket".

Back to school doesn't have to be a stressful experience, a big production, or leave you financially adjusting for the next couple months after school begins. You just have to plan ahead, pace yourself and be active in communities, groups and families that can help each other. MY FINAL TIP is... If you have a surplus, help someone; a pack of pencil, some notebooks, anything is appreciated. As a parent I know how challenging it can be at this time of year so I know others go through it as well. Pay it forward this back to school. One Love.


Stephanie Hava

Let's Celebrate!!!

Whoa!

I'm trying to catch my breath. But what's new?

I never really slow down. My calling is so massive and it's all so very exciting.

Anyway, as a result.. I missed my own anniversary.. lol

I caught it a few days after and this email is even way overdue.

Nevertheless, I hope you will help me celebrate.

CATHARSIS IS ONE YEAR OLD!!

Yep! My sophomore album has seen its first year since release on June 25, 2015.

I will always celebrate this album because of what it represents for me on a personal and professional level. It symbolizes me coming into my own, growing up and shedding that layer of fear and apprehension and stepping out bolder, sexier and more honestly. And to do that through music was extremely "cathartic", hence the name of the album. Its fun, its heavily emotional, its brazenly sexy, its romantic and empowering. There's a song for everyone!! 

This album also legitimized me as a music producer as I was both executive producer and producer working alongside some other brilliant musicians and producers to make this body of music amazing and most importantly commercially viable.

PLEASE HELP ME CELEBRATE THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF CATHARSIS!!

Buy:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/catharsis/id1007522521

Stream (A few tracks): https://soundcloud.com/stephsingslove/sets/catharsis

Share on your social media - Tag me!

Facebook.com/stephsingslove

Instagram: @stephsingslove

Twitter: @stephsingslove 

Getting ready to drop the next single so stay tuned... it will be massive!!

Watch Official Music Video Of First Single From The Album 

"Your Love":  https://youtu.be/a7v7eq5H9_Y

MORE!!

MORE

Preview - Taken from Stephanie's upcoming book (Title Withheld)

After the initial assessment of your do-me-right-now, smoking body,

Good looks meet sex appeal come-lay-up-in-me-be-mine-only.

I have to,

Have to get some more.

After standing ‘cross the room eyeing you, thinking what I’d do for a hot steamy night of you.

After wondering how our first time is going to be.

I have to,

Have to get some more.

After biting my lips at the way you walk, caught up in your smile, watching your lips as you talk,

Wondering how it would feel to have them kiss me; sweet and tender, rushed and harder.

I have to,

I have to get some more.

After watching your hands holding that glass of wine, wondering how it would feel to have them roaming down my spine.

All over my body, between my thighs.

Whoa … you’d think that would be enough, but no.

I have to,

I have to get some more.

I have to get more before I let you explore my wonderland.

I have to get more before I gasp at your rock-hardness.

I have to get more before we do it on the floor, in the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom for sure.

I have to,

I have to get some more.

I have to get more before I let your kisses roam to places that make me bite and grip and moan.

I have to get more before you make my nipples sore; sucking, nibbling, flicking, and teasing.

Good God……..

I have to get more before I stroke it, feeling it grow.

I have to get more before it slides into my wetness; tight and warm for sure.

I have to,

I have to get some more.

More is your mind; how you think, what you know.

Turn me on, take notes.

Make love to my mind; engage me intellectually, challenge me.

Get me hot, MORE notes.

Give me MORE.

MORE is making me laugh, if you’re fun we’ll explore.

A vivid and colorful imagination is such an aphrodisiac, we’ll never get bored.

More is being driven; with no ambition or goals, your dick has no role.

You have to have purpose and strength, stand on your own to stand up in me.

More is heart, conscience, respect; wanting to know me, support me, appreciate me.

I can lust all I want you see, but if you’re just eye candy, it’s so empty.

Before we take off the clothes, foreplay until we can’t wait no more, lift me unto you and brace me against the wall in this dim lit room.

Before I grab into your flesh from that first thrust and we make dynamic rhythms, make love on every imaginable surface; I arch and contort in pleasure-ridden spasms a few times.

Before your body tenses in anticipation of your explosion and you say my name in utter ecstasy.

Before we lay spent and basking in the euphoria.

I have to,

I have to get some more.

The Search For Me

My dad is black, my mom is light skinned with freckles. I'm a result of the swirl. Love my skin tone. I'm not vain by the way.... going somewhere with this.

Growing up I was bummed about not getting my mom's straight nose and inheriting daddy's round nose, I hated my toes, not to mention my hair. In third grade it was decided that my hair would be 'easier to manage' if it was straightened. I was teased about my nose and my hair all the way to and through high school. My nose was round; I couldn't do anything about that, but we thought my hair issue was fixed by chemically straightening it, boy was that wrong... THANK GOD I COULD SING. LOL. The teasing didn't stop in my adult years, however, it didn't bother me anymore. Being pregnant accentuated my nose (I know a few friends who found this hilarious), and well my hair game was constantly changing with the trends because I was still trying to fit. Natural hair was not cool, only if it was 'pretty hair' (Indian, long, straight or mixed and curly). The growing up into self appreciation, or appreciation of my heritage didn't quite sink in. 

Here comes my first daughter mixed with Indian; curly 'pretty' hair, "Thank God she never got your hair Stephanie" *insert laughter* - 'Cause its meant to be a joke. That followed the "She pretty eeeh!!" But that further perpetuated a false sense of image without being intentional. Ironically my daughter is annoyed by having so much hair. Then came my second daughter with grey eyes which went through a series of changes before coming to its beautiful brown, borderline hazel eyes... Ooh now we went gaga over that, because she possessed something that wasn't inherently black. 

For a great part of my life I had been socialized and trying to look like someone else. I think back and sometimes I want those years back so I could ‪#‎choose‬ to proudly be who I was physically. But more so other than appreciating my heritage, another dimension was added to my dilemma. I fought to keep those insecurities hidden, because by default of my beautiful voice I was a popular girl, how could I display these insecurities, so I shut them in a box that I played with when no one was looking. I found myself in many leadership capacities but always comparing myself to the other girls/women, not realizing I was great, I was doing things and going places off of my Gog-given gifts and merit and not necessarily on how I looked. Those insecurities have also lead me into some unsavory situations with the opposite sex. I sought validation, comfort, solace, love, while they sought sex. I'm keeping it real!! I was caught up with my hair, nose, how to look like I fit in with other other females with how I dressed, etc.. and they just cared that I had a vagina. So I was fair game. And no, my mom didn't fail me, she was busy trying to keep food on the table. But no one was preaching LOVE YOURSELF, YOU ARE ENOUGH, YOU ARE NOT YOUR HAIR, etc. The messages, though just as sound and relevant were variations of "tek you education" (stay in school), "don't breed" (don't get pregnant). Coupled with the peer pressure of having things and looking a certain way to fit in. Then I went to church and felt like a condemned sinner for NOT having natural hair, or having my ears pierced. It was all so confusing, deciding who to be physically. 

But I beat the odds, and borrowing a line from a song Michael Holgate wrote "I always knew something else was guiding me." I still managed to stay on top, I excelled. It's amazing when I think back how I navigated myself through all that...and to think, it all started with my hair as child. I unknowingly began the search for who I already was.

I cringe at the thought of my girls having to go through all that to discovering who they are in truth. But a shift has been happening and I'm happy. The narrative is changing, but I know the narrative that I create for them is vital.

I get it.. That journey, that lesson had to be massive. Because I have the responsibility of teaching these two young ladies to love everything about themselves, to love everything about mommy and daddy that came together to produce them in the physical sense. And MOST IMPORTANTLY, what you look like is not who you are. Beauty is what's inside, its the essence of you that makes what you are physically beautiful. We are enough! We are Queens! We are beautiful just the way we are!! Girls need to hear this from the day they take their first breath, they need to be imprinted with this truth, we need to awaken within them what is already there. Beauty!!

Catharsis - Breakdown Pt. 1

Music showed up in it's fullness and offered me a healing that was amazingly freeing.

I called it "Catharsis", cause that's exactly what is was.

And it became my long anticipated sophomore album.

With every word written, every melody created, every note sung, the layers broke away.

It was amazing how without being too graphic with my graphic artist Vennessa Hanshaw, she captured that on the album cover to visual perfection (Additional credits to Jordache Jones on photography and Travis Paul on makeup). And the colors that represented that was red; the flame that burnt away all that I released, white; that purified me and black goes well with those colors lol. I not only gave birth to a new musical project but to myself. Suffice it to say this is my most personal project to date. The Script has a line from one of their songs that goes "Take that rage, put it on a page, take the page to the stage, blow the roof off the place", so I did. I took my pain, fears, heartbreak and subsequent empowerment of self, coming into my own as a woman and embracing my sensuality, renewed faith in love and yes discovering love all over again and put it in fifteen (15) songs. Sought out some of the best producers, and musicians I knew and set out to make a project that was REAL, relatable, and of course commercially viable. And although some of the material was already a work in progress, Catharsis matured in the space of six (6) months: Album Season.

 https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/catharsis/id1007522521

Track 1: You On Me

Track one is really an intro to the album and the vision I had for that was testimonials from some of my friends and colleagues; impromptu an honest. I reached out to said people on my whatsapp and asked for one liners, just their take on me in the form of voicenotes....yes I wanted it very unrefined and on spot, in the moment. Called up Koriq and asked him to put it together for me, mind you this was the day before the album was due to be mastered. So the night before my mastering deadline we created a skit-like intro of the testimonials overlapping over crowded chatter. 

Track 2: Catharsis

catharsis

kəˈθɑːsɪs/noun

noun: catharsis; plural noun: catharses

1.

the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.

Now.. apart from being a close friend of mine, Michael Sean Harris is a musical force I admire greatly and I really wanted his stamp and style on Catharsis, which turned out to be the title track. Funny enough, Catharsis wasn't meant to be the title track, but the process in making the album brought us there. That's what I love about music and natural processes, flowing with and being in alignment with destiny. And on  a side note I have to give props to A-Game who, after a great conversation convinced me why I should go with Catharsis as the name for the album instead of supm more cliche, which I'm glad I did. But back to collaborating with MHS on this track. There are a handful of producers and musicians in Jamaica that produces foreign genres very well and Michael is a beast at capturing sounds and styles that are not indigenous to Jamaica. I sent him a lyrical skeleton and left the rest in his hands. He reworked, rewrote what I had sent and by the time we got to the studio it was such an effortless process. Catharsis was born. Catharsis paid tribute to me denouncing the ills of a bad relationship and freeing myself. Yayyyy .. I have worked with the great Michael Sean Harris. Can't wait for more collaborations. https://soundcloud.com/stephsingslove/catharsis

Track 3: Battlefield

Battlefield is the only cover song on the album and is originally done by Lea Michele and co-written by one of my writing icons Sia Furler. Talk about the stars aligning. I wasn't planning on having any cover tracks on this album but one night I stumbled upon this masterpiece called 'Battlefield'. This song made me buckle at my knees, it unstacked me and showed me the innermost depths of my feelings as it related to the past four years prior to. There were many songs I had heard in my lifetime that I could relate to, but this song was everything I wanted to express at this point in my life, and Sia Furler became bigger in my eyes, not to mention Lea Michele's raw and honest vocal performance. It scared me at first to think about covering such an awesome song. I wanted to do it justice, but I also wanted to tell MY story as well through this song I believe others had also loved. I decided on a a different musical interpretation and called up Elton 'Elly B' Brown (guitars), Stephaun 'Maxx' Samuels (bass) and Mijanne Webster (violin), went into One Pop Music Studios and with Rorey Baker and Paul 'Patchy' Wright at the controls created 'Battlefield'. I broke down recording the vocals for this song, the grit, just the raw emotion just unraveled me. I mused that after recording the song I will never sing it again..lol. Truth is .. recording that song freed me a great deal. Now each time I sing it, my wings get bigger. https://soundcloud.com/stephsingslove/battlefield

Track 4: Closure

All the tracks on the album are pieces of a puzzle, together they take you on a journey and complete the picture. If you listen from the beginning to the end, its a lovely and riveting story. Closure at first impression would appear to be the last track on the album but in order for the story to progress, in order for the plot to thicken 'Closure' had to happen at this point. Now the biggest irony of this album is Closure.. because it is co-produced by Stephen Maxwell; and only those who have the inside scoop will understand that statement ..lol. Or if you listen closely you'll figure it out :). Nevertheless, making music with Stephen has always been an organic process so major props due. Closure was actually a song I had started writing some years ago and Stephen had laid a three instrument track that I thought up to the time of the album was an unfinished track. After receiving the files from Stephen which was just a single piano, percussions, bass and oh yes some minimal programmed drums. I finished writing the song and laid the vocals with all intention of doing some overdubs. I listened and listened but I couldn't hear anything else that I could add to make it better than it was. I had Llamar 'Riff Raff' Brown; a musician and producer I have great respect for take a listen and he agreed, the song was complete as it was. The additional magic he said was now in the mix and the mix could make or break the song. Whoa... way to put on the pressure. Back to being in alignment, all just flowed seamlessly when Patchy, who had produced the vocals ended up mixing this song. The song vocally and lyrically was strong and it didn't need the frills, just a magical touch and that's what it got. https://soundcloud.com/stephsingslove/closure

TO BE CONTINUED

Coming up - Catharsis - Breakdown Pt. 2 - 'The Power'

People mentioned appears as follows:

Vennessa Hanshaw

Jordache Jones

                                      

Travis Paul

Koriq

Elton 'Elly B' Brown

Stephaun 'Maxx' Samuels

Mijanne Webster

Rorey Baker

Paul 'Patchy' Wright

 

Stephen Maxwell

Self FIRST is NOT selfish. An empty vessel has nothing to offer, a frustrated countenance not only gives off frustrated responses or reactions but it also attracts more frustration. Ever notice that the flight attendant instructs you to secure your mask first (in the event of danger) before assisting others? Yes, you should top your list of priorities. When you are happy, financially stable, emotionally and mentally sound, etc you are not only in a better position to help others in all those areas but you inspire others to want to step up their own state of well being. .... This is especially true with more personal relationships, for eg. Parent/children relationship. When you are your best self as a parent you have so much more substantially to give to your children materially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. You create a much more conducive environment for their growth and development. They are also modelling the qualities of your character and prove to be better at handling life's challenges as they grow up based on how they've seen you handle things, even when you think they aren't watching. The ripple effect of putting yourself first is real and big. So choose you and you choose the best for everyone else connected to you.

Growth Can Be Messy

Truth is "growth can be messy" and hard and dark. Take the caterpillar's process to the butterfly; the caterpillar forms a cocoon, digests itself, transforms and emerges as a beautiful winged creature. Sometime we find ourselves in a "cocoon" experience and it feels like we wont emerge. All the phases of sadness, depression, pain, confusion etc are all transformative things. We want to speed it up, we want to press "skip and continue" but sometimes in order to emerge with wings to soar we must undergo some level of discomfort. It's never really over until you decide it is. So I'm telling you that its going to be OK, see it through. I want to pass you fluttering through the sky, living your best life. The only time I want to say "told you so". Hold on to yourself! Growth can be messy but with each level of life you move up you'll be glad you stuck it through